Keliah's Commentary: Beautifully Broken, Epically Tragic, Perfectly Whole

So I’ve been MIA for weeks now. Work has been killing me. I’ve been so tired and grumpy lately that I’ve only had time to write in 140 characters or less and not much else. If you follow me on twitter, you already know. Anyway, after watching the December 9th episode twice, I figured why not blog about it? Only 5 weeks left until the end, and lem’me tell you, I’m gonna bawl like a baby in need of a bottle and a total nutter in need of therapy come January 13, I don’t care what the ending is, because either way, it’s over and I’ll no longer have a thing to bitch about or cry over anymore. That said, this entry will be full of bitchy goodness, because, well, I can. So just DEAL, YO!

December 09

So the Buenos Dias and the Bon Jour café are identical twins in separate towns. Clever.

Interestingly enough, I don’t care about Rex and Aubrey as much as I care about Cutter and Stigi together. Sue me. Cutter and Stigi, I could actually root for, IF WE HAD THE TIME. Rex and Aubrey OTOH, not so much. Maybe it’s because I don’t care for Rex in general. Yeah, that could be it. But we all know that Rex and Gigi will eventually be reunited and Gigi will realize that she really loves Rex after all, so her kissing Cutter was a moot point, just as Rex kissing Aubrey, AGAIN, was a moot point. But I admit that kiss with Cutter and Stigi was HOT!!!! I really liked it and it made me want to root for them even more. But again, WE ARE ON A SCHEDULE. Not to be crass, but we have no time to continue dicking around here.

Oh, and while Stigi’s at it, she might want to remember that SHE HAS A SON in need of his MOTHER, TOO!

Speaking of reunions that need to happen before January 13, I’d like to toss Cliki or Clint and Viki into that group. Now suddenly Clint’s hands are going to be full of Kim while Viki is in Paris, Texas. Whatever. Hey, I actually like Kim, and I’ve never been opposed to the May/December thing. And she and Clint have some really good and natural chemistry. But lets get real here, Clint (no matter who played him), and Viki are a staple couple for One Life to Live and for crying out loud! They both have had dramatic, life saving heart transplants! Listen, if we had enough time to play around in the sandbox and dump sand on each other’s heads and play you show me yours, I’ll show you mine before our mom’s picked us up from daycare and took us home, I could totally see Clint being torn between two lovers and feelin’ like a fool. A choice between the young, vibrant thing who probably brings toys to bed and the more mature woman who knows him best and warms his heart and soul by being there for him no matter what when the chips are down. But once again, WE ARE ON A SCHEDULE HERE! TICK. TOCK. I really have no interest in seeing Clint talk to Viki the way Blair spoke to Tomas. “Well, now, I can be with you since the one I REALLY wanted doesn’t want me back... I think.” Give me a break, here, Clint, we all know that your OTP is Viki, so why even act like Kim was the great true love of your life and that you’re only kissing and choosing Viki cause she’s available and there? Not buying it. The story itself is contrived to drag out drama and angst. Again, I like Clint and Kim, but the show is ENDING. Stop dicking around!

That brings me to………………sigh. I don’t even know if I want to keep talking about Jolie and their “issues” after this week. Now Natalie knows how John feels about her and she wants to keep their relationship as is. Fine. I can deal with her being pissed that John didn’t fight for her, because lets face it, HE DIDN’T FIGHT FOR HER. He just gave up and let the other guy win and damn near marry her ass and let him raise HIS child! Um, learn how to be PROACTIVE in getting what you want, John! Todd may have removed a man from Blair’s orbit and not told her about it, but at least he’s GETTING SHIT DONE to get who and what he wants!

That said, what the hell was wrong with Natalie just going up and telling him, “Listen a'here, m’effer, I know how you feel about me, why didn’t you find your balls, put them in place, and TELL ME ABOUT IT before I marched my ass down that aisle? No, instead you decided that you wanted to leave town and watch ME, the supposed one true blue love of your life marry someone else you KNOW I didn’t love as much as I have always loved you? So, what is REALLY going on, JOHN? Do you want me or not? Can you finally FORGIVE ME or not? If not, fine, we’ll just be co parents and go from there, but if there is a chance, you need to let me KNOW, or I can STEP TO THE LEFT and find a man who actually TELLS ME HOW HE FEELS WHEN HE SEES ME ABOUT TO MARRY SOMEONE ELSE and doesn't allow the ENTIRE TOWN TO KNOW THE TRUTH BEFORE ME!” the moment she learned from Roxy how he felt? Natalie is supposed to be a feisty red head and should’ve just told John all of that and then some with a head role and finger snap too boot! But she didn’t. Instead, she just gets pissed and pouty and like a child keeps her feelings to herself. I actually like Jolie, believe it or not, but this has gotten so past ridiculous that it’s beyond absurd. When are these people going to tell the other how they really feel? Once again, STOP DICKING AROUND! TICK TOCK! Roxy was right, Natalie is just as bad as John, they are both being stupid and stubborn for two grown folks and PARENTS, and she has no time for them anyway, she has a soap to save.

Wow, how bittersweet is this? They planned this storyline of Frat Row when the show was going to be saved. Anyone notice the cover of Weekly in that episode? “New Prospects in the Park.” Good Gawd. So Frat Row is most likely going to be saved while OLTL, as we all now know, is NOT going to be saved. I really don’t know what else to say. It was a clever idea, I will say that. I know that it has also gotten mixed reviews from the fans so far. I actually don’t mind the storyline, per se, but it will be sad to watch them being happy about their soap being saved while ours only has 5 weeks left on air. I could say more, but I’m already bitching about ONSCREEN stuff. Behind the scenes stuff would take much more than this column would allow. Which brings me to the lamest of lame bullshit that we are being served up on a rusted silver platter…

Guess what, y’all? I still don’t give a shit who killed Victor. There, I said it. I’m so sick of this damn non-mystery that I could SCREAM and Spit and SMACK someone silly in the process! Most people I know don’t even think Victor is DEAD and I don’t either. What a waste of time this is, should I even bother with the Tick. Tock. clock? Oh well, I just did. Even less than that, I don’t care that Tomas is gone and (weakly) tied up in a chair in a room and kicking tables around. Big whoop, man. Todd was locked up for 8 years and tortured about a damn microchip that seems to be completely and utterly irrelevant now. So just DEAL Tomas, you’ve been there for maybe a few days at best. Who even KNOWS in Llanview time, it was probably a day and a half! I don’t care about Tomas. I don’t care about his supposed pain. I don’t care about his whitewashing. I don’t care. I’m not invested. He didn’t give a shit about his family anyway when he left all those years ago, so what difference should it make now? He lied to Blair. He lied to Tea. He lied to everyone about who he is and what he’s done, and HE initially wanted Victor away from his sister and niece, and I’m supposed to suddenly feel bad, as he stole the picture of his VICTIM’S WIFE, kept it for himself and obsessed over it for 8 years, painted it over and over when he got blue balls and then got to reap the benefits of it all in the end? But he felt bad the whole time? Bullshit.

Here’s what, I’m invested in Todd Manning and I’ve been invested in Todd Manning since I was 9 years old. I’m 26 now and I’m more invested in him now than ever. Tomas doesn’t deserve my sympathy for keeping Todd from the people I love, for 8 years. Am I being biased here? Totally, but that’s the way it goes in terms of a character I'm actually invested in. Todd has done me a favor in getting Tomas off my screen for the time being. The more he hugs and comforts Blair and caresses her face and holds her close and keeps her picture in front of his monitor while he works at The Sun, the more and more I get to witness the amazing and dazzling chemistry between RH and KDP that has, without a shadow of a doubt, gotten stronger and more charismatic and vibrant and intriguing and wild and wonderful and downright sexy over time. Is Todd lying too? Yes, but you know what, he gets a pass. He was unwillingly tortured for 8 years, his brain has been fried overtime, and he just wants his soulmate, his lifesaver, his OTB back in his arms. He doesn’t want Tomas hurt, he just wanted him away from his woman. Tomas should've been the "better man" people say he is and stepped aside and let Blair have a real choice instead of badgering her to choose him over the father of her children and getting in her space and face whenever he thought she was falling in the opposite direction. What a farce and total waste of time that relationship was.

Sure, Todd could’ve just told Blair how he felt about her and no way in hell would Blair have even been with Tomas, cause anyone with eyes and ears who knows Blair Cramer and Todd Manning together and apart, could see and hear that she only chose Tomas because (a) Todd didn’t tell her how he felt and (b) she felt he was the “safe” choice, if only because he couldn’t hurt her because she didn’t and doesn’t care all that much. All this double-talk in the dialog and writing doesn’t sway what I see playing out on my screen.

Todd is he one who’s got a piece of her soul and that’s something that Blair has and never can nor will she EVER deny to anyone, especially herself. They are two broken halves that come together making a fixed whole. That was clear to me on Friday. Blair looked so at peace in Todd’s arms, so serene, and satisfied to be held by him, she didn't even flinch or move away or release his arm or hand when they were interrupted.

I’ve known Blair since I was a child. I’ve seen her through her ups and downs, and good and bad. I’ve seen her with Cord and Max and Todd and Victor Jr. and Spencer and Eli, etc. I’ve seen her in lust and in love. I’ve seen her happy, I’ve seen her sad. I’ve seen her cry tears of joy and pain and sorrow, I’ve seen a piece of her soul being left behind in the heart and arms and soul of one man. Tomas Delgado is not that man. He does not and will never own a piece of her heart or soul. He will never measure up to even those men in her past, let alone to the one her heart really wants, desires, and longs for, Todd Manning. He was a cockblocking substitute for every other man that has been placed between them, namely Sam Rappaport #2. Maybe while you’re in Gitmo, TOE, you can find a shovel, go find Sam, dig him up and ask him his thoughts in all of this. By the looks of that picture, T&B agree.


John and Tea think they have the case solved and that Todd did it, but they have no proof of it. Tea thinks that Blair would want Todd locked up as much as she does, and John thinks that Blair would tell Todd in 3 seconds what was going down and essentially protect him because “things run too deep with those two”. Survey says, John’s hit the nail on the head where Blair is concerned. Seems he knows her better than her so-called “best friend”. I find it funny in an ironic way that John quickly believes that Blair would save Todd if she found out what he’s “done” but he clearly doesn't think she would do the same for Tomas. Much like when she saved Todd at the cabin, knew he killed his mother, but didn’t saw a word about it in court even AFTER Tomas was going to be sentenced for Irene’s murder. Once again, she protected Todd and kept quiet. Sure, she wanted him to do the right thing, but she wasn’t going to give him up. Unlike Tomas, she just sat there and felt bad that he might go to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. But Oh to the Well. Some great love between Tomas y Blair, eh? Tea on the other hand, doesn’t know what Blair wants or needs or thinks or feels, she has no clue, because she hasn’t asked her, she just “assumes” that Blair would want the same thing she wants. Why is that? You shared some Todd’s, honey, you don’t share a brain.

I want Todd and Blair from now until the end, I don’t care how or why I get it, but I want it. I want them as much as I can get them and I’m going to savor every waking moment with them until the very end. And if I get them making out like teens on a couch or against a wall or in a car or any other flat surface they can find and maybe even naked at some point (not allowing those two hot bodies to slam against each other at some point before the end would be a total crime against nature and wasted tragedy!), that would be a bonus too.

That’s all I’ve got for today! If I missed anything, it probably wasn’t meant to be!

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